deep within

(Maria @ flickr)

And everyone says I'm crazy
And everyone says I'm a fool
Would you meet me by the water tonight
'Cause I'm ready to break all the rules

- Rachael Yamagata

(Meet me by the water)

Deep within, I already know you are not meant for me. You are not the one I can surrender myself completely to. You cannot reach past my faults and my troubles to take my heart. Alas, I realise that I have found the wrong person again. Perhaps, this is why I am mad. I am angry at myself, at what has already happened. I cry that it isn't fair, that the world around me should find what they have been looking for while I am still waddling waist deep in murky waters, searching. Perhaps, this is why I feel so reckless these days. Out of anger, I wanted to tear the whole world down with me and watch it sink. Commit the wrong acts and forget regrets. My time that has become stagnant, only tempts me further, wishing I could simply take you away with me. And while it lasts, a month or two, we shall dance amongst unfamiliar lovers as if we are so madly in love with each other. And when gears of reality kick into motion again, bid goodbye like childhood friends, where our secret sleeps quietly behind our eyes, we will put on our smiling masks and whisper softly, "See you in the future." 

(posted in my wordpress! the picture doesn't exactly suit it tho...)